I connected with a lot of folks
Faces, handshakes, glasses raised,
names I’d forget
But all these networking events
are something in a haystack problems
And I instantly searched for that One person
who wasn’t there.
One person who I was confident I would recognize
even if I had a little glimpse of her somehow
One person I had no idea what to say to
One person I just wanted to raise a toast to
and say “thank you”
One person I wanted to have a full-fledged conversation with
and wanted to know how her journey had been
Because I know no one understands her like me
and me like her
And I wonder if she longs to be understood like I do
I don’t even know if she wants to have that long conversation
with me
I don’t know if I’ll be able to recognize her
Has she gotten fit? Has she gotten fat?
Maybe she doesn’t need to talk to me
because the man she chose
understands her better than I ever could
Maybe she wants to talk to me about how she feels unloved
because I’m the only one who would understand
Maybe she wants to elope with me
All these are hypotheticals
Assumptions
Fictions I rehearse in the theatre of my mind
It’s been five years
The only thing I can be sure of
is that she has changed
She’s not the girl I knew last
Even if her face were recognizable
I don’t know if her soul is
A man loves a woman hoping she’ll never change,
and she inevitably does
A woman only loves a man who changes for her,
and he rarely does.
Maybe I wasn’t searching for her,
but for the version of myself
that only she knew
Vishal Gupta
11th
May, 2025
