Break up

“Who knows how much further we'll go on

Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone

I'll take my chances

I forgot how nice romance is

I haven't been there for the longest time”

-          Billy Joel

This has not been going right

not for a while now

not as well as it should have been

And you have taught me to be brave enough

To admit that the fault is not mine

My time does not allow me

to make love as my priority

But love should be the priority

or it shouldn’t exist at all

I am glad to have you in my life

Don’t think for a moment that I take you for granted

But I’m unable to do justice to what is between us

Maybe if we’d met in a different time…

Perhaps…

But then again, you did meet me in a different time

You aren’t the first I confront this dilemma with

And probably won’t be the last

Those are the words of a man who accepts his faults

without trying to change them

This, is not you

It’s who I am

We do not change into other things as we grow older

We become more of ourselves

Living free and wild

The hollowness we surround ourselves in

allows us to fill our lives with ourselves

and once in a while,

like a claustrophobe in a suffocating room

we need a change of air

You are my breath of fresh air

one that I do not allow myself

I’d rather stay confined, tied in to my rotten room

Unwilling to open the windows

Afraid of what you might bring in

I’m already too busy with the mess inside

I shan’t allow more

So perhaps I wish to prolong this

Perhaps I wish to postpone

I want to continue to coexist

In your mind only, without seeing you

I want to prolong love,

without the burden of being together

I want you to echo within you, as you would within me

For us to haunt, tug, and shout inside one another

Flaring years later, wiser, appreciating better

Like a bookmark long forgotten in a dear title

What I know is I cannot move forward

Not right now

Maybe you’ll wait

Maybe you won’t

My loss if you don’t

Who knows how much further we'll go on

Maybe I'll be sorry when you're gone

I'll take my chances

I forgot how nice romance is

I haven't been there for the longest time

Vishal Gupta

2 Apr 2019

Party

You were invited to the party; but you arrived late

The music was on, the tables were set

You walk in, looking for a familiar face

That’s when they invite you in and greet you with grace

You take some time to greet the hosts

make pleasantries and raise a toast

You then take your chair to wait a bit

and take a look around the room as you sit

The games were already on, as people lost and won

Groups were already divided, but willing to take more on

Grudges both silent and violent did already start

and of course power structures were playing their part

You take a while to take the environ

and the more you hear and watch the better you learn

For soon shall you be invited to take part

and take the party forward, as early comers depart

You start to make friends, and make some enemies too

You realized this late, but entering after you too there were a few

The party doesn’t seem to know an end, you find someone like you

And a toast is raised, for this is now your party anew

It’s now that a friend departs, not someone close though

One of the first you met at the party, never to return you know

He goes home and now takes rest, for his part is done

and slowly the party becomes yours, the despair and the fun

And one by one all friends depart, even your special one like you

The party feels familiar, the faces seem new

But now you’re tired, and wish to go home as well

You’d have liked to stay a bit longer, had your friends also dwelt

You look at the doors, but they haven’t called you yet

And you look around once more, watching as you wait

You take a while to take the environs

and the more you hear and watch the better you learn

Vishal Gupta

3^rd June 2018