20 April, 2022

Apathy

Such is the enormity of my emotions

that I’m unable to feel anything at all

Like how the mountains stand still

hugged by clouds and moss

Silent, gargantuan, patient

looking on upon the world

 

Like the sullen shoulder of the soldier

left standing alone on the battlefield

with nothing but scars and memories

bloodied hands and bloodied soul

carcasses abound, both friends and enemies

Wondering, what was the point of it all

 

Like the scream of terror of the Earth

when thunderstorms strike

crackling air with light and sound

hitting the Earth with all its might

The Earth just endures, and stays for the next blow

it knows, the storms will pass away

 

Like the call of unrequited love

the wonder which begs “what if”

The unspoken words, which scream the loudest

The prison of hope, that poisons the soul

The constant anxiety, of an unreturned message

The creeping hopelessness, that spares none

 

Like the memory of a beautiful experience

unreplicated, it grows bigger than the truth itself

Staying a memory, it stays unscathed

Lived, it risks being tarnished

the eventual hope of reciting the memory

silently stays bigger than the memory itself

 

Like the music that stays within the mind

cannot be expressed, sung, or found

it cradles the mind in tired moments

yet is somehow elusive in times on need

nameless, it lingers on

unexpressed, till its soothe turns to horror

 

Like the feeling of watching a loved one go away

hoping till the last breath for another moment

unspoken, but understood

knowing, that the meet was only to separate again

hoping, that the day comes

when each separation will only be to meet again

 

Such is the enormity of my emotions

that I’m unable to feel anything at all

just taking the step after the next

knowing what this life needs of me

And so I keep moving, looking for the “exit”

To find home, once more

 

Vishal Gupta

27th March, 2022