01 September, 2022

We live, we love, we lie

Tired from the endurements of life

I turn to a face vaguely familiar, looking for respite

For judgments galore in familiarity that breeds contempt

And keeping appearances disallows meaningful deviation

 

She looks up, startled, not ready for words bearing burden

Her eyes speak of her understanding to my dilemma

Her lips tremble with ‘why me’ ‘why now’

Her heartbeats leave the space between us with silence

 

She says she wishes to understand me further

And she wishes she was brave enough to wish for her wishes

But she waits, why, she knows not truly

She only waits and wishes for others to wish her wishes

 

Terrible way to live a life… I tell her it is

For most often left bereft she shall be

For the world knows not the desires of a single heart

And her unspoken words would never be heard amidst noise so vast

 

‘Why,’ she asks, ‘can the world not understand her heart’s desire’

‘Because,’ I say, ‘the world fears understanding her wrong’

So it does not attempt to understand her at all

The fear of rejection overpowers the possibility of the extraordinary

 

We would rather live diminished lives ourselves

than risk running fast and breaking something apart

Our hearts are fragile and we protect it at all costs

The ships we carry, stay on the docks

 

There are two types of people in the world

the “why nots” and the “what ifs”

The “why nots” stay fulfilled,

the “what ifs” stay safe

 

The “why nots” are daring, but often they fail

Their stories are what scare the “what ifs”

That the “what ifs” stay safe, as most humans do

Thinking sometimes, being daring is simply being foolish

 

But it is impossible to live without failing at something

unless you live so cautiously that you might as well

have not have lived at all

in which case you have failed by default

 

I ask her what is she

She says she would like to be a “why not”

but she is a “what if”

And mostly “it’s not meant to be”

 

I ask her if she can move to “what if it’s meant to be”

Not so far away from where she is

She asks me what am I

I smile and say, I’m whatever she needs me to be

 

Vishal Gupta

June 11th, 2022