The Greek Sovereign Debt Crisis & the Financial Crisis of Malaysia

Political Marketing

The BJP Campaign for the 2014 General elections is a fine example of effectively implementing a marketing and branding campaign. This campaign surpassed ideologies, religions, and regions encompassing a democracy of over a 800 million voters, i.e. more than twice the entire population of the US. Brand Modi overshadowed prominent figures from all parties, including the BJP. This study makes an attempt to study the strategy behind the creation of the brand which led to the epic victory

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Sports Policies in India

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Social Media Analytics

SOCIAL MEDIA ANALYTICS - A Threat on Personal Space

Introduction

In September 2010, Twitter saw trouble when apparently users were sending nasty messages to their followers by as much as moving their mouse over a Tweet. Later, Twitter’s Security Chief Bob Lord wrote on his blog, ‘The vast majority of exploits related to this incident fell under the prank or promotional categories. Users may still see strange retweets in their timelines caused by the exploit. However, we are not aware of any issues related to it that would cause harm to computers or their accounts’ 

In May 2011, Symantec reported leakage of Facebook users’ personal information to third-party companies. Approximately 100k Facebook applications were carelessly leaking vast amounts of private information including account login information and posting rights to advertisers and analysts. Some of these “access tokes” may still be available in log files of those third-party servers or still being actively used by advertisers. 

The latest privacy problems emerged from Google+ which is known for its privacy-friendly setup. Users can choose to share their content with some people barring some others without delving into the nitty-gritties of the interface. However, recently Google integrated Google+ with Gmail giving rise to unexpected problems. Now Google+ users could exchange emails with each other even if they had never exchanged email addresses. This doesn’t sound like a problem until we realize that A adding B on Google+ Circles doesn’t mean B adding A. Now, A has access to B’s email address, whether B likes it or not.

Every day, we are prompted by ads and acquaintances to install and use privacy protection measures in the form of software updates, patches and general settings. This poses a lot of questions on the nature of these threats. How do they originate? Who wants to invade our privacy? What information do they want? Why? And most importantly, does our response to them really protect us?

To answer these questions, let us understand a fundamental principal of Economics through a diagram.

While this may seem intuitive from the outset, it is the perfect model to understand the working of Social Media service providers. If you’ve never paid Facebook for the 1,000-odd friends you have, then you’re not the consumer Facebook is serving. But someone is paying Facebook and Facebook must be giving them some product. And you are involved in the game. If you’re not the producer, consumer or the payer, then you’re the product!

Stimulus

In our view, privacy threats can be classified into 3 broad areas, as shown. While attacks on personal privacy motivated by fraud and personally motivated attacks fall in the realm of law, commercially motivated privacy threats might not violate the law of the land. The first two require scheming measures and are difficult to carry out on a mass scale by the use of analytics alone. However, the use of social media analytics in online marketing is big business contributing $36.57 bn  to the US GDP in 2012 while growing at a rate of 18%.   This commercial activity is primarily based on the value of customer data to businesses, which in turn poses the danger of third-party companies intercepting personal data.

The value of the information comes from the understanding that the better a business knows its customers, the more effective will be the marketing potential. With the advancement of newer technologies, businesses are able to explore new instruments to exploit personal information in unprecedented ways which may even put the lawmakers in an abyss. Consider the spyware phenomenon which allowed new technologies to place ads in front of the viewers. At times, the law was uncertain on what call to take on these “grey” areas. It took 8 years for the authorities to frame rules for acceptable and legal behavior of such software. But this phenomenon can be expected to repeat as new technologies emerge allowing consumers and producers to interact in newer ways. The Federal Trade Commission, Canada, is currently trying to draft principles intending to establish a self-regulating regime for companies partaking in behavioral advertising. After all, how does one measure the legality or ethics of tracking a person’s online activities, often without their knowledge, than then targeting them with online advertising?

Also, this increase in interaction and data collection gives birth to additional threats – security breach. Even if businesses promise to use users’ information only for the purposes of economic expansion, there is no surety that the information would remain secure and not fall in the hands of fraudsters. In fact, this feature of businesses makes them attractive targets for such breaches.

Tools

Social Media, with its vast presence (as shown in the image), offers prospects of individual liberation and public welfare. But it also offers privacy threats. These Web 2.0 applications house viruses, worms, Trojans, and spyware that will attack any user if given the opportunity. With the amount of personal data users post on these websites, they become invaluable repositories of information.

Consider Facebook. A Typical user creates a profile with personal information like full name, email address, birthday, gender, hometown, political views, religious views, IM names, phone numbers, address, relationship status, schools attended, courses undertaken, current employer, previous employers, personal interests, and preferences. In addition to this, Facebook collects information on a user’s browser types, IP address, location, Operating System. Facebook also states that they may ‘collect information about you from other sources, such as newspapers, blogs, instant messaging services, and other users of the Facebook service through the operation of the service, in order to provide you with more useful information and a more personalized experience.’  However, many users fail to understand that social networking sites are not private spaces but public forums.  Any user generated information on Facebook may be copied and distributed without the users’ knowledge.

Such information generated on a massive scale gives analysts and cybercriminals alike the ability to deliver spam and malware to targeted users at unparalleled speeds and efficiency. Facebook proclaims that it is an intermediary allowing advertisers to ‘reach the exact audience with relevant targeted ads.’  However, the more Facebook becomes capable of learning about users and translate that data into advertising revenues, the more is the burden on user privacy. Facebook’s CPO (Chief Privacy Officer), Chris Kelly, has often protested that internet users no longer wish to remain anonymous online. 

Spyware, keyloggers, scrapers, are some of the tools which have applications in online threats. The commonality shared by these tools is that they exchange consumer information for applications. Though it must be mentioned that such tools do find applications in secure internal environments, such as maintenance of trade secrets.

Behavioral Engineering is another method of inducing desired behavior in a target that relies on “smooth talking” or other manipulative behavior.  This implicates persuading the target and convincing them to go against their better judgment and divulge personal information.

Adware

Adware is a software that spontaneously displays downloads and advertising material to users I unexpected and unwanted manners. Often, adware employs tracking functions to compile information to generate complete profiles on websites such as Yatedo and Skillpages. Adware also collects information about websites that the users visit and monitor the usage to target advertising efficiently. Often, such information is procured in unwarranted ways.

Adware that engages in tracking behavior reports back to a central server and stores information in databases. The information is then analyzed and used to select the types of advertisements to be displayed to users. Adware can tie personally identifiable information to specific individuals, ensuring data is collected only once for each user.

Not all adware is privacy breach. Often users sign up for adware in exchange of free software. It is when adware is installed without the consent of the user it calls in the category of unwanted technology. The most notorious forms of adware annoy consumers by opening multiple browser windows and displaying pop-up advertisements.

In 2005, Symantec performed an experiment connecting a new computer without security software to the internet and browsing websites directed at children. Within an hour, 359 pieces of adware were found.  During the same time, Trend Micro conducted a survey of 500 IT managers and found that 95% of the companies frequently find adware in their organization. The majority of the survey respondents ranked spyware among the top 3 IT priorities for 2005.  Although adware exists mostly in the realm of individual consumers rather than businesses. The most prolific adware distributors are as shown. McAfee’s SiteAdvisor.com survey found that 97% of internet users could not differentiate between safe and unsafe sites, and the vast majority just 1 click away from downloading spyware, adware and other potentially unwanted software. 

Conclusion

The world would seem alien today without the presence of social media. But we must also be aware that every piece of information we are generating and perceiving is going to affect us in the future. We want to be able to decide what we share, with whom we share, and till when we share. We would like to know how much information about our online behavior the companies are collecting and what are they using it for.

What the companies really want is simple – a detailed profile of our interests to target advertising at us. And since we use the services of these companies every day, they are in a well-equipped position to know more about us than most.

Despite that knowledge, balancing between making useful products while keeping the users safe seems like a chore every company struggles with. This might lead us into a future where users realize that social media is a necessary evil which just treats users like information clusters rather than people.

References

a. 21 September 2010. Nasty Twitter Worm Outbreak. KrebsonSecurity Official Blog.

http://krebsonsecurity.com/2010/09/nasty-twitter-worm-outbreak/

b. Doshi N, 10 May 2011. Facebook Applications Accidentally Leaking Access to Third Parties. Symantec Official Blog.

http://www.symantec.com/connect/blogs/facebook-applications-accidentally-leaking-access-third-parties

c. Internet Advertising Bureau. April 2013. IAB internet advertising revenue report: 2012 full year results. PricewaterhouseCoopers.

http://www.iab.net/media/file/IAB_Internet_Advertising_Revenue_Report_FY_2012_rev.pdf

d. Internet Advertising Bureau. October 2013. IAB internet advertising revenue report 2013 first six months' results.

http://www.iab.net/media/file/IAB_Internet_Advertising_Revenue_Report_HY_2013.pdf

e. Facebook’s Privacy Policy.

http://www.facebook.com/policy.php

f. Killick R, 7 February 2008. Facebook and the death of privacy. Spiked Ltd, London.

http://www.spiked-online.com/newsite/article/4482#.U8fQbPmSxhM

g. Facebook ads.

http://www.facebook.com/ads/?src=gca2

h. Malkin B, 11 September 2007. Facebook under fire over targeted advertising. The Telegraph, UK.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1562752/Facebook-under-fire-over-targeted-advertising.html

i. Cippic (Canadian Internet Policy and Public Interest Clinic), 2008. Online Privacy Threats: A Review and Analysis of Current Threats. Cippic, University of Ottawa, Faculty of Law, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada.

https://www.cippic.ca/sites/default/files/publications/CIPPIC-Online_Privacy_Threats-Final.pdf

j. Symantec, September 2006. Symantec Internet Security Threat Report: Trends for January 06 - June 06, Volume X. Symantec Corporation, Cupertino, CA, USA.

http://eval.symantec.com/mktginfo/enterprise/white_papers/ent-whitepaper_symantec_internet_security_threat_report_x_09_2006.en-us.pdf

k. Trend Micro, February 2007. Threat Management: Challenges and Solutions, Web Threats. White Paper.

http://www.trendmicro.com/NR/rdonlyres/75541153-BFB6-4540-8E12-FD4051DCB28D/22391/WP03_Webthreats070223EU.pdf

l. McAfee, 2006. Adware and Spyware: Unraveling the Financial Web.

http://www.mcafee.com/us/local_content/white_papers/threat_center/wp_adware.pdf

Office Affairs

Isha remembered being happy once. Now, it felt like a memory from another life she’d think of every night, waiting for her husband to come back home. He always said it was work. But she knew otherwise. She had spotted those long strands of hair on his shirt. She didn’t confront him. Why? She didn’t know. There weren’t even tears. She was surprised, not because she knew that her husband was cheating on her but because of the lack of her own reaction.

Isha was never one to make rash decisions, nor did she like confronting situations. Where would confrontation lead to anyway? Would their marriage fall apart? Was there anything left to fall apart? She hardly saw him through the day anyway. They hardly talked. He was in a hurry to leave every morning and late every night. Every month he’d take two trips out of town. She had the place to herself and her friends. What good could possibly come from confrontation?

Maybe he wasn’t having an affair after all. Maybe it was just someone he happened to cross by or a hug. It was never good to jump to conclusions. Was she jealous? Yes. She was. The thought did make her uncomfortable. But she took it as a part and parcel or her marriage. Even if he was having an affair and they did talk about it and their marriage did indeed fail, what would she do next?

The doorbell brought Isha back from her thoughts. The clock on the wall showed half-past-midnight. Rajeev came in, looking tired as ever. As he unfastened his tie, Isha couldn’t help but notice the wrinkles in shirt. As he took it off, Isha tried to bring back the old days.

‘Dinner?’

‘Oh no,’ Rajeev said. ‘I’m sorry I forgot to call you. I already had some at the office. Have you been waiting for me?’

Of course not, I know better than that, Isha thought. But said, ‘then would you like to have some dessert?’ or have you had that too?

Rajeev turned to see Isha smiling at him loosening her hair. Her body had lost its elegance in the 13 years of their marriage. But Isha was still a long distance away from looking plump. Somehow, Rajeev couldn’t show much interest.

‘I’m sorry dear. I’ve just had a really tough day at work. All I want right now is some sleep.’

Isha remembered how he used to lunge at her at every opportunity he got in the early days of their marriage. But that seemed like a distant dream now. She dejectedly tied her hair back and watched in silence as Rajeev walked towards the bedroom.

The next day as he was leaving for office, Rajeev told Isha that Sanjay would drop by to get her signatures for the insurance papers. Isha knew Sanjay through her husband’s office parties. Sanjay wasn’t a particularly charming man, but Isha liked him anyway. He was an old friend of Rajeev through their college days and handled the paperwork in Sanjay’s company. Always courteous, he seemed to hold Isha in high regard. Once during a joke Sanjay had even gone as far as saying that even if something were to happen to Rajeev, Isha need not worry about anything as long as he was there. Rajeev was too drunk to notice, but Isha knew that Sanjay's glance lingered at her for just a moment more than it should have. Not that Isha minded. But it did seem strange to her how Sanjay could say such a thing in front of Rajeev. Perhaps they were good enough friends to let that pass.

‘Hi! Come on in,’ Isha welcomed Sanjay in.

‘Hey! How are you? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. We should plan something sometime,’ Sanjay entered in his office formals.

‘I know. But Rajeev is always busy with work.’

‘Yes. He has been working hard lately. The region has been booming since the last quarter and while the economy is doing great, he and Maya have been swamped with work.’

‘Maya?’ The name seemed to ring a bell in Isha’s mind. She’d heard that name somewhere. ‘Where have I heard that name before?’

‘She’s an old friend. She was our junior at college and boy did we have a crush on her! To tell you a secret, she’s partially responsible for me not being married till now,’ Sanjay winked at Isha with a smile. A smile she knew a bit too well.

‘Ohkay… That’s news!’ Isha said. ‘So are Rajeev and Maya working closely these days?’

‘You can say that the sales for the entire region depends on them. They’re handling everything from customers to vendor issues. They have pretty late hours. I can’t remember the last time I saw either of them leave office on time.’

‘Ok. And are they… like… close close?’ Isha asked.

‘Sorry? I didn’t get you?’

‘Never mind. So you brought some papers for me to sign?’

‘No wait. What did you just mean Isha? Is there anything bothering you? You look worried.’

‘It’s just a small thing… nothing actually…’

Sanjay noticed Isha’s hands shaking and came forward to hold them, ‘tell me Isha. What’s bothering you?’

‘Is this girl… Maya… is she beautiful?’

‘You may say so. She used to be the college hottie back in the day. Even after all these years, she hasn’t lost her grace.’

‘Can I see a picture?’

‘Sure. Wait a second.’

Sanjay took out his phone and showed Isha a group picture from their office. Sanjay pointed at the slender girl right next to Rajeev in the pic, ‘that’s her.’

Isha looked at her for a while. Sure the girl was looking pretty in her purple blouse that seemed to bring out her bosom too well, without looking vulgar. And Rajeev seemed a bit too happy with her. In fact, it had been a long while since she had seen Rajeev smile. And they seemed close, too close to Isha. Isha zoomed in at them and noticed that there was a hand on Maya’s waist, and the hand was Rajeev’s. Isha felt a lump in her throat. Sanjay came to hold her hands and the phone.

‘What’s the matter Isha?’ He asked. Then taking a glance at the phone, he said, ‘oh come on Isha. Don’t be melodramatic.’ Isha looked at Sanjay, not knowing which side he was on. She however held her composure.

‘It’s not just this. He has been going out too often now. He hardly talks to me anymore. He returns every night tired and is in a hurry to leave every morning. And now he’s spending lonely hours at night with this girl from his college whom he’s had a crush on. What am I to make of this?’

‘Nothing. That college thing was an old crush and she didn’t as much as glance at either of us back then. They’re just working together.’

‘You don’t know Sanjay. There was this time, I saw a strand of hair on his shirt. I’m pretty sure he has another woman in his life.’

‘It might have come from anywhere. Maybe she rested her head on his shoulder sometime. I don’t know. Let’s not be making hasty judgments here.’

‘So you’re telling me that they just work together every night, and there’s nothing else between them? They’re not close in any way?’

‘Of course they are close. When you work this long with someone you become good friends. And then… you do get close.’

What the hell is going on between my husband and that bitch?' Maya's patience was at its lowest ebb and she was ready to burst.

Sanjay knew that she was serious. 'Look, Maya. There is nothing going on between the two of them. Just a little bit of healthy flirting, I'd say.'

'Flirting? Healthy flirting? Really Sanjay . . .' she rolled her eyes in disgust. 'That's what you men call it? There is nothing healthy about flirting, Sanjay, not for a married man.

Healthy flirting is a term introduced by perverted men who want to lend legitimacy to their extramarital dalliances. Flirting invariably has a sexual connotation to it.' She got up from her seat and walked around the room gesticulating and muttering something to herself. Suddenly she stopped, turned back, looked at Sanjay and asked, 'Did my husband sleep with her? You are his friend. Did he ever tell you anything about it?'

‘Well… yes and no.’

‘Be definite. Yes or no?’

‘Well, there was this once time when a couple of us were having lunch when someone said that you shouldn’t marry till you’re 30. Rajeev supported that and said that if he had waited, he might have been able to get his college crush. Not many understood what happened there, but Maya and I did. We took it as a joke.’

‘And now he’s getting over that mistake by screwing with that bitch.’ Isha was in tears now. The tears had never come till now, but today she couldn’t stop herself. Neither could Sanjay from getting up to and taking her in his arms.

‘Don’t worry Isha. There’s nothing between them. And even if there is,’ Sanjay paused for a moment to bring his hand to her chin and raised her head, ‘you always have me.’ Sanjay winked at her with a smile.

Isha looked at him through her tears. He was looking at her. She knew that look. Isha was not a woman to make rash decisions. Even as a girl, she always kept good company and scored good grades. She had promptly agreed to marry the “right man” her parents had chosen for her. Since then, she had given up her own dreams and dedicated herself to her husband like a good wife should have. And since that day she had seen herself being transforming from her parents’ princess to her husband’s accessory. He had valued her till her had use for her. Now she was another useless trophy at his home. And there was this man, who always spoke to her with respect. He was holding her in her weakness and looking at her with loving eyes. But she was a wife, a wife committed to her husband like a good wife should. She didn’t know how long it was till she looked at him.

Then, she leaned in.

‘Did you the signatures?’ Rajeev asked.

‘Have I ever failed you?’ Sanjay replied.

Rajeev looked at him and smiled, ‘Great. I knew I could count on you. Maya come on in! It’s time to celebrate.’ Rajeev called on to Maya.

It was another night at the company balcony when Rajeev, Maya, and Sanjay were having drinks and dinner. It had taken some bit of planning, but it all had been simple enough.

‘And we wouldn’t have had to go through it all had you noticed me in college to begin with,’ Rajeev smiled at Maya sitting next to him

‘I know dear,’ Maya said as Rajeev leaned in for a kiss. ‘I didn’t think you guys would be able to pull it off but hats off to you.’

‘It was nothing,’ Sanjay replied. ‘Anything for my friends.’

‘Yeah, and besides he got to sleep with my wife. For all her sweet goody-two-shoes attitude, she still is pretty hot.’ Rajeev felt a short stare from Maya, ‘but not as hot as you dear.’ Rajeev leaned in for another kiss.

‘So tell me you didn’t feel a little bit bad letting your friend sleep with your wife.’ Maya asked.

‘Not a bit. I’d stopped loving her a long time ago. And I’ve never made love to her since we…’

‘I know.’ Maya said

‘And besides, I knew he wouldn’t mind. I know the way he looked at her.’ Rajeev turned to Sanjay.

‘Hey man I was just trying to help my friends here. And I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again,’ Sanjay smiled at Maya.

‘Fuck off!’ Maya laughed. ‘I know how to keep my man happy.’

‘Good for you guys.’ Sanjay said. ‘So when do you file for the divorce?’

‘First thing tomorrow. And once that’s done, you’re moving in with me baby. No more late nights at the office.’ Rajeev drew Maya close to him.

‘I’ll let you guys have your moment. My job here is done.’ Sanjay said. ‘Have fun kids. But not too much.’ Sanjay winked at them and left.

Sanjay came out with a smile on his face. There! He had done it. Two birds with one stone. They should’ve known that he wasn’t lying when he told them that Maya was responsible for him not being married for so long. And if she wasn’t going to be with him, she wasn’t going to be with Rajeev either, that gold-digger bitch. But then, she wasn’t as gullible as Isha. Seducing her would be a different challenge. But if he could make a tape of him with Isha, he could also make a tape of Rajeev and Maya.

Sanjay stopped by the HR’s office on his way out and dropped in a small package. There was a smile on his face.

Dance Bar

I write this post as a log about my first trip to a Dance Bar in Kolkata. I’d refrain on commenting on how I got there and any moral implications. Judgement is in the eye of the beholder. My story, is about the scene my unexperienced eyes saw.

The place is hidden behind a Sony showroom. The way to go is a lane protected by a tough looking uniformed security guard. But he doesn’t ask any questions. We seemed like the kind of people who knew where they were going. The lane covered with old unoccupied buildings led us to a door which was transparent to the old Hindi songs playing inside. We got in to find the place was jam-packed except for one unoccupied sofa-set right in-front of the stage with a board proclaiming the words RESERVED on it. We haggled for a bit and ultimately agreed that we’ll move if the people whom it was reserved for arrive. The manager gave in and we sat.

Sitting down, the room sunk into my system. I am no stranger to discos, but this place had a darker aura. Maybe because of the smoking or the kind of crowd. It was as big as any medium scale restaurant with a small bar in a corner and a stage, towards which everything was pointed. Flashy disco lights changed the colours of things everywhere. There were tables in-front of each seat which didn’t seem to be made to support too much food. People usually had ice, a few drinks (usually a mug of beer), and a few snacks on their tables. By the way, the Paneer Tikka was delicious.

I realised that the music was not being played but was from a live performance. I’m no stranger to world class concerts and famous bands and I daresay, this vocalist was extremely talented. Accompanying him were 3 instrumentalists beside the stage. But that’s not where my attention was. I noticed 3 girls sitting behind the singer. 2 in short red western outfits and 1 in a green Sari. They seldom made eye-contact with the crowd. They were busier in typing on their phones and chatting among themselves. On either side of the singer were 2 poles which surely weren’t meant for civil sturdiness. The singing went on for a while, which though was good, was not what any of us were there for. Meanwhile, a waiter was going around with a wad of 50/- notes to anyone who called him. He’d go to a guy, and change any note (usually few 100/- or 500/- notes) to fresh 50/- notes. Later, he’d take the tips to the girls from the customers and point towards the customer who’d made the generous gesture. Also, more girls kept coming in till there were about 10 girls sitting behind the singer on the stage. I realised a few things about their dresses. (I really don’t care I you call me a perv. I was in a dance bar after all. All the judgement to be made is already out of the window)

• Barring one, they did not expose their legs. They wore saris, lehangas, and leggings (some netted)
• Only one wore a dress which exposed her legs. While sitting, she covered her legs with some kind of a cloth
• They didn’t show too much cleavage. Not as much as I expected anyway

Soon, the dancing began. Some lanky guy in a red t-shirt with a straight face came and pointed at 3 girls. Those 3 were to dance on the song which was started. These songs were played on a cassette rather than being sung now, as they had more beats and were faster. These were songs I hadn’t heard before but the dancers seemed to be conversant with them, as they lip-synced all along. I don’t think they were meant to, as they clearly understood that this was no dance competition. By no standards were they dancers which come close to the ones I had seen on TV or in live performances. They were just enjoying the song with the knowledge that their tips depended on how much the audience enjoyed their dance. This was an audience that got excited at every cleavage show or a sway of the hip. They didn’t need a salsa or a rumba performance. I, somehow was dejected. I expected better dancing at a dance bar.

My eyes moved to the girl in the short red dress. She was constantly pulling down her top to hide her navel. The skirt was as low as could practically go. The girl seemed very uncomfortable with her dress. However, she smiled the most among all the performers. Also, whenever the top moved up, a bit of her bulging tummy would show. And by a bulging tummy I don’t mean anything like the big tyre I travel around with. It was something like what Kareena Kapoor would put on for a Malyali movie. Something told me that the girls didn’t do their own shopping. I confirmed this when I noticed that the boots of all the boot-wearing girls looked exactly the same. It was then when I noticed that barring one, all the girls wore either boots or high heeled pin-pointed sandals. Even though I didn’t like the dance much, but I understand how difficult it may be to dance with a 4” pin sticking out of my shoe. But these girls were there to earn their livelihood, and it meant wearing unfitting clothes and giving their best on raunchy numbers.

I also noticed something which particularly moved me. Every time a new girl would enter, she would first bow to the stage before entering. These girls knew they were performers and the stage was a means of their lives. They respected it as much as anyone would respect their profession. Each time they’d get a tip, which always came as a 50/- note, they’d touch it on their head and hold it till the end of the dance, at the end of which they’d go back and put the earnings in a jute bag kept on their chairs. At one point I also saw the singer receiving a tip for a few notes. He touched the notes with his eyes and took them to a small temple hidden behind a large speaker. I was surprised to see a temple inside a dance bar. But making moral judgements here is not the aim of my post.

About the jute bags, I watched closely. All the girls had a medium-sized jute bag. The kind of one my Mom takes for vegetable shopping. On closer observation, I could read the word UNIVERSITY as the 2^nd word among the 2 words on the bottom of the bag. It was a bag by some University. Later I saw the word Institute on the bag. I don’t know whether these girls went to a college or were they just using the bags. I tried but I couldn’t comprehend the name of the University, which must’ve been the 1^st word on the bottom. In addition to that, on the back of the writing each girl had pasted a piece of paper, probably with her name on it to identify which bag belonged to whom.

I realised that at the end of the song, the girls always returned to their assigned chairs. They cheered for their friends on the stage and made gestures indicating they were looking hot and sexy. They weren’t all friends among themselves. Sometimes I could notice them staring at another dancer with menacing looking eyes.

At one point when a new song was started, 3 girls were called and 2 of them approached the same pole together. They seemed to quarrel about who gets to use the pole for a bit. The lanky guy who indicated whose turn it was to dance was called to settle it. The 3^rd girl offered one of them to use the other pole but by now it was an ego issue. The girls declined the offer and tried to use the single pole together. Obviously it didn’t work out and one of the girls had to go pole-less. Guess there’s petty politics in every job.

I wondered, even after the kind of job they were doing, it was still a daily life for them. If they ever felt ashamed or afraid of what they did, with time they must’ve learnt to live with it. They even had priorities about the type of dance they liked and maybe about the clothes too. Like any office environment, there were likes and dislikes, but were settled soon as everyone understood that the work is of paramount importance, not anyone’s ego. After all, no matter how demanding or demeaning a work is, after some time one learns to live with it and even make a few choices about how they like to do that work.

At one point, I had to… siphon my python. I looked around for some kind of sign, like the “His” and “Hers” words, symbols, anything. But I realised that I was unlikely to find one. This was not a place which would need to keep a dedicated “Hers” door. I finally got up and asked a waiter who directed me to a place right outside the gate of the bar. At about 10 steps away, were 4 urinals in a corner. That’s all they need here, I thought.

I noticed the crowd. While I did see some people who seemed rich, judging by their clothes; most of the crowd seemed to be an old working class crowd with faded untucked shirts and unshaven beards. And while this does not go for some people, most of the people there seemed to be too self-conscious. As if afraid to be spotted there. I don’t think it was fear or shame or guilt. It was just the kind of thing you feel when you are on stage. However, they weren’t. And the girls who were actually on the stage seemed to be gaining confidence with the minute.

Yet, the dancers hardly ever made much eye-contact. They saw themselves, other dancers, their friends, floor, poles, air, but rarely did they glance at the public. They weren’t too concerned about their expressions either, which to me forms a very important piece of any dance. But then, bar girls didn’t really get money for their expressions. Although, now that I think of it, the ones who smiled more seemed to be getting more tips.

After about 90 minutes there, a man came and sat down beside me. He had the air of a regular and smoked what my friends later told me were hard cigarettes. The waiters also seemed to know what he would like to drink. He soon sent a small wad of notes to a particularly energetic girl who was the only girl dancing with bare feet, allowing her to make some moves impossible with heels. The waiter told her who has sent the tip. She looked and gave a knowing smile. It seemed like she knew the man. I wondered if her acquaintance was limited to tips on the dance floor or went beyond it.

I wondered who these girls were. If they were girls who were seeking work in the acting business, their dancing skills surely would come in the way. They were all using new Samsung phones, meaning they knew a bit of English. Or were these girls who simply failed to make a living on their own. Or were these girls the ones disowned by their families, maybe born without one. Or maybe each had her own story of how she got there.

I tried to look closer to make out something from their faces. I noticed a few tattoos on their arms, but wasn’t able to read them. I wondered what religion they were from, but this was a place without any religion. For the customers, lust was their religion and for these girls, their work was their worship. I left with the immortal words of the great poet Harivanshrai Bacchhan in my mind

मुसलमान औ' हिन्दू है दो, एक, मगर, उनका प्याला,

एक, मगर, उनका मदिरालय, एक, मगर, उनकी हाला,

दोनों रहते एक न जब तक मस्जिद मन्दिर में जाते,

बैर बढ़ाते मस्जिद मन्दिर मेल कराती मधुशाला!

Dreams Live On

Often, it’s that one small thing that turns your life upside down. You live life. Go through the stream thinking there will always be tomorrow. You’ve seen your fair share of struggles and you’ve made sacrifices you know you didn’t want to. You’ve witnessed the growth of your moral character and you have allowed your moral compass to be blinded. You’ve been brave and you’ve lied. That has made you who you are today. And you’ve realized that you might never find peace. Maybe that’s something for the next life. Maybe this life was only meant to go with the flow, not be in control, go where life directed you to.

But sometimes, one little thing can change all that. Like I found out the other day that my wife is cheating on me. For the last 20 years or so, we’ve had a good life. Sure we’ve had our fights but who doesn’t. I’ve tried to fulfil all her needs and am proud of having been able to do so. We have 2 children. Both on their own paths in their lives. Old enough to know what’s good or bad for them and still young enough to rely too much on their own wisdom. I always thought I’d grow old with my wife watching them grow up. Until last week when I found out I wasn’t the only man she was growing old with. I could confront her. That’d bring some excitement in life. Probably it’d be traumatic for the kids. Or maybe they’ve grown up enough to not care. It does hurt me. Probably less than it would have had I been younger. Like then it would have made me break off my relationship with her or file for a divorce. Right now, I’m writing. Contemplating on what should I do. Thinking of all the other times I’ve been cheated.

Come to think of it, the one person who has cheated me most in my life has been the one person I relied on the most. Myself. I think this ought to be said. I gave up my dreams pretty young for a stable 9-5 job 5-and-a-half days a week. Sometimes I did want to take a big risk with my life. Do something adventurous. Or at least take 2 months off from work and travel the world. Or finish that novel the first few chapters of which I’d saved on my computer for since college. Or at least make a donation to my alma mater.

As you can probably guess, I never did. I did make plans. Elaborate ones sometimes created out of sheer boredom at work and in life. I always did try to keep “work” and “life” as separate entities. But maybe I lost track of what “life” really is. Maybe what I kept calling “life” was “work 2.0” for me. I actually forgot about the things I wanted to do in my so called “life”.

I wore a mask to work every day. At some point I must've forgotten to take it off. I don't remember when the mask became so permanent that I forgot the man beneath it. Now taking off the mask even on rare occasions feels like an extra weight I'm not used to. Ironic isn’t it? The face smiles but the eyes have lost their laughter.

I waited for the time when I’d be able to walk my own path in life. When that time came, I lost my way. I didn’t know what it was that I wanted to do. I guess being lost is not just not knowing where you are, but also not knowing where you’re headed.

I often look at my children and wonder if they love me as much as I love them. Of course they do, an inner voice scolds me. I have to believe that. That’s my only inspiration to live. My children love me. They need me. But do they really? I never loved my parents as much as I love my children. Parental love flows downwards, I realized. I never saw tears on my father’s eyes and my son has never seen on mine. But what was it all for? I yearn for my child to tell me once that he loves me and needs me. Like I yearned for my father to appreciate me. But none of us would do so.

I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to provide for my family. I tried to ensure my wife would be happy and my children wouldn’t fail in their lives. I tried to protect my children from the mistakes I made. Just like my father had tried to protect me from his. We sacrificed selflessly and endlessly. But did we make a new mistake while trying to prevent an old one? I always felt that my father was disappointed in me. Does my son feel the same way about me? We’ve never really talked about it. My son is my pride. Was I the same for my father? I wouldn’t know if I was. I tried to prove myself to him. But I think he never got the message. Every word he spoke pointed at yet another way I’d been a disappointment. He actually seemed to be in constant agony because of me. At one point, I stopped making an effort.

But was he genuinely disappointed? Was he playing a game to push me to my limits so that I make a greater effort? Was he making ground for emotional blackmailing he’d later subject me to? “Won’t you even listen to this one little request I make?” was easily translated to “you have never done anything for my sake.” I went through it. Being constantly compared to my peers – to the extent that I stopped introducing my parents to anyone new in my life. Being forced to marry young when I wasn’t ready. Being constantly reminded of the comforts I grew up in which didn’t exist for my parents. They never thought that I also grew up with the problems that didn’t exist for them. I constantly wondered why they did this to me. Come to think of it, isn’t this exactly what I’m doing to my children?

This makes me feel like a loser in life. If my 18 year old self, the fearless boy raring to go have a go at the world, would have seen me today, he’d be deeply disappointed. I owed a great life to him in return of all the fun he’d let me had. I let him down.

So come to think of it, why wouldn’t my wife cheat on me? I’m pathetic. I thought we have great sex but I really couldn’t remember the last time I’d made love to her. The way I did when we were young. At some point in our lives, we lost the connection. With each other, with love, and with ourselves. Life was mechanical and so was sex. Maybe that’s why her cheating on me doesn’t hurt as bad as it should. It’s like it doesn’t even matter. Like the part of me that would’ve felt cheated on is already dead. I once dreamt of sky-diving. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t doing it because I feared the crash could kill me. But I was wrong. I never sky-dived because I was already dead. I don’t remember the last time I laughed or cried in earnest. Like I stopped feeling anything at all. Heck I don’t even feel excited seeing boobs any more. I tell myself it’s because I’ve “been there done that.” But I lie. The truth is a man who has lost meaning in life simply cannot be enticed.

I guess it started happening around the time I was 25. I started accepting ideas which confirmed my existing beliefs and refuting ones which disagreed with me. I even saw the media as flawed. Well, I still do. I’ve reached the age where I can be wise enough to point out my flaws yet complacent enough to not do anything about it. I wish I was dead before I reached this age.

Now I look upon the next phase of my life. Kind of a second adolescence really. I’m not young enough to work nor old enough to retire. Suddenly, I see the world around me becoming hostile again. It’s a familiar feeling. I don’t understand everything that is going on with my life right now, though I’ve acquired the patience to see it through. I call it patience, you may call it despondency. I don’t want to accept the rules of social behavior anymore. Anyway, these are not the rules I grew up with. Mine was a very different time. But is this not my time too? I’m seen as a rebel by my family these days, funnily though. I’ve seen all of them through their own rebel phases. I hate being proved wrong, as if I have acquired all the wisdom in the world. But no one corrects me anymore. They just don’t. They however, do keep telling me to take care of my health. Just like old times, when I had no problems with my health and my scars were more… internal. But no one cared about those. Maybe because no one knows how to. We all keep nursing our own internal scars trying to help other with their external ones. We neither know how to bring others to light nor do we know how to bring ourselves to it.

I’ve started believing in destiny again. Maybe my wife cheating on me was what I needed to sit down and think about life again. I haven’t done that in a very long time. Perhaps it was my destiny. Something I had to learn before I’m put into the cradle for the very last time.

Soon, I’ll meet my salvation. Maybe that was what it was all about. The journey. Maybe there were no goals that I needed to accomplish. Just lessons that needed to be learnt. Money is important, but it is only a means of getting though life. It’s not the end game. So what if I didn’t get to fulfil all my dreams? I’ll pass on the lessons I’ve learned to my children. I’ll tell them the goals I pursued were futile. They don’t need to make the same mistakes I did. I’ll ensure that they don’t. After all, that’s the least a father can do.

10 Types of Careers and Relationships

Every stepping stone of your career is similar to a relationship with its own ups and downs. Here are 10 types of career moves with their relationship equals.

10. Undergrad College - A Romantic Love Affair

When all is right with the world and the birds chirp and the sky is blue and you think you've found the one and it'll take the devil himself to break you apart...

9. MBA - Non Committed Affair

When you don't know what you're doing or what you're feeling but you'd just like to go with the flow in the moment because you neither have any clue of what's going on nor any will to put the effort of figuring out.

8. Desk Job - Arranged Marriage

You didn't know what you signed up for. So better follow the social conventions and go as life takes you forward. The road might not take you where you wanted to go, but that this point you'd go pretty much anywhere.

7. Promotion - Children

Another reason to keep you where you are. And constantly you hear, "if it hadn't been for this, I'd have left long ago."

6. Conference - One Night Stand

It was a good day and a celebration of your achievements. So what if it got a little wild? After all, you deserve every bit of it after all the effort you put in.

5. MS - Childhood Love

The purest sense of your being. This is what you were born to do. This is what your life has been heading to all this while. If there is heaven on Earth, it's in this feeling.

4. PhD - Long Distance Relationship

It's frustrating for the most part. You didn't realize it was gonna be so tough when you enrolled. With time, it just feels that you're not proceeding anywhere. And yet, there's hope that one day all this wait will bring the glory you've been waiting for what feels like your entire life.

3. Artistic Job - Live-in relationship

"I'm not saying you're bad at what you do. I'm just saying what you do isn't worth doing."

2. Exchange Semester - Wild Drunk Party

The newfound freedom! The independence! No more aunts asking "padhai kaisi chal rahi hai." No caring about "chaar log dekhenge to kya kahenge." You're bound to get carried away a teensy bit. But wait, there's a paper to be submitted tomorrow? Damn!

1. Entrepreneurship - Forever Alone

Because the woods are dark and deep, but I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep...