30 November, 2023

On Tawang

On Mountains

Mountains are difficult to traverse through, no matter if it’s a trek or not. Each time I go, I decide not to come back soon. And yet every 6 months, I find myself amidst the same slithering roads surrounded by a treacherous ridge on one side, and a deep valley on the other. A river is always heard in the distance and waterfalls will obviously mark their way along the mighty mountains. The hills are covered with age-old trees holding the mountain soil together. Trees that never seem to wither. As immortal as the grand hills they make their base on. It is a blessing to be born in a country with lust green mountains that satiate the soul.

 

On the Moon

The Moon always seems a lot more closer from the mountains and the stars brighter. I was lucky enough to have gone during a full-moon week. The Moon has had important significance in the culture of man since the beginning of civilization. Actually much before that. The Moon might have been the first question. It’s so old that we don’t even know when we realized that it as a celestial body that dances around the Sun with us and we play in its shadow and it plays in ours. The form-changing Moon would have been the first God. The first calendar. The first unit of time. Every time I think this is too much, and I don’t want to come back soon. And every time I come back a little fuller, a little more richer, and a little in love.

 

On Goodbyes

What do you do in the moments of separation? Of saying goodbye? There’s no right way. “Awkward hug or lame cool guy handshake?” There’s no right way. It’s often one of the above or all of it or none of it. So much that people sometimes choose to disappear without saying goodbye. They don’t want to deal with the moment. But “Life of Pi” taught us that “in the end, the whole of life becomes an act of letting go, but what always hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.” Goodbyes are important. That moment of incompleteness is important. That moment doesn’t mean much. It’s redundant compared to all the other moments that came before. But that’s exactly what makes that redundancy beautiful! That anticipation of not knowing if and when you’d ever see each other again. Seperation makes even redundancy worthwhile. As Vision said, “a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts.

 

But what do you do in that moment? When you’re overwrought with emotion? Do you speak words? But there are no words that could encapsulate all the memories that came before. It would be reductive. Do you share a song or a poem or a quote that you remember that encapsulates the moment as well as it can? But would you rather risk sharing art in a tender moment, when the other person might not be ready for it? What good are words when you need shoulders? After all, art may be public; but the perception and appreciation of art is extremely personal. It would be unfair to expect someone to give it the same importance as you do. Specially in the moment.

 

So what do you do? HIMYM offers the answer. To stop the image of someone walking away, you close your eyes, count, and open your eyes to a world where you can’t find them anymore. Or here’s another way – you sit and look into their eyes for as long as possible. Savor the moment. Hold them. Hug them. And when the time calls for it, walk away. That is right. That is honest. That is good.

 

On Memories

You know it’s not really the people that we miss. People change. We miss the moment. People wake up one day and we think this isn’t the same person anymore. It has happened before. Someone we have learnt to love and forget. We can have someone right before our very eyes and miss them. We don’t miss people. We miss moments. People are the one who might’ve made the moment beautiful. But there’s no certainty that we can find the same moment with the same people again. There’s possibility, but no certainty. And when you take out possibility from certainty, what you are left with is disappointment. Some people don’t want to risk disappointment. So they don’t risk missing anyone at all. These are ones who have been disappointed enough times by life. They are also the ones who never find anything worth holding on to. Because what is love if not to be vulnerable. And what is life without love?