06 February, 2013

Final Frontiers - Chapter 3/8

As the interviews drew near, a time of nightmares, pukes and unstable bladder conditions ensued. Though in all fairness, the pukes might have been the result of something other than interview terrors.

I remember one particular dream, perhaps inspired from a recent rave song all over the internet. There were 3 panelists and I think 2 of them were competing for something of the sort of “Panelist of the campus” award. They’d asked me to sing a song. This is what followed in the subtitles of the dream:

The current batch... Will ask for a more peaceful year...

Load वाला, Hope वाला, Sutte वाला साल
LOTR की trilogy, से भी लम्बा साल
Final वाला साल

CAT GRE placement के बोझ से दबा हुआ
Tension वाला frust
ये end-sem और mid-sem से भी अब ये bore हुआ
P वाला grade
Hall का भी sento छोड़के मैं बंदी के पीछे भागा
ठर्की वाला stalk

मेरी placement अभी नही लगी है
मुझसे future plans नही पूछना
GRE में भी score double digit हैआया मेरा
Rohit Sharma वाला score

यहाँ Hall के juniors के सवालो से
होता मैं frust रहता हर रात
कभी illu कभी GC कभी intern के लिए आता... कोई रोको

Final वाला saal
लगा भी placement तो भी Day 20 को लगा 
Core वाला job
जिनके पास है package उनके wall पे congrats
Treat वाले pics
Aero Ghaasi BT dep का placement cell se total काटा
2nd वाला phase

BTP…   pe bhi humne…      extention lagwaya
फिर summer…         में रुक के…        Prof से करवाया
Final वाला saal

I woke up. Hands sweaty, eyes full of sand, I tried to shut the stupid alarm off. Turned out, it was a phone-call by Placement Committee Member (PlaceCom). A call from a PlaceCom generally meant an interview. Now I was no “special” friend of any PlaceCom that I’d be called for an interview for a company which did not shortlist me. Nor did I cheat in any test. So my chances of being shortlisted were as high as finding hygienic food in the mess. I picked up the phone and this fanatic PlaceCom told me that I had to reach the interview venue in 15 minutes. 15 minutes later I’d realize that 15 minutes later, the interview panel from the company would arrive, then would inspect the rooms, then would chat with the PlaceComs, then would have lunch, then would chat among themselves, and then will perhaps get in the mood to begin a painfully slow interviewing process. But you see I was a naïve in this field. I didn’t get a lot of interview calls. I checked the Notice Board to see if the PlaceCom had made any mistake. As it was, the PlaceComs were not definitely known for their efficiency and accuracy. I found the relevant notice which said,

URGENT – Shortlist for ABC                                                                     0712 hours | 15.12.2012

The following students have been shortlisted for ABC Pvt. Ltd. Shortlisted candidates are to reach the interview venue at the earliest.

15 other candidates


I checked my watch. It was 7:30 AM. I didn’t know shit about the company and had no time to read about it. To be honest, I didn’t even remember applying to the company. I rushed with my dress, wore a jacket and a muffler on it to save myself from the biting morning winds of the Kharagnagar December and cycled off into the unknown. I told myself that this might be the day when I’d be able to do my Junglee dance with my tie on my head which I’d been planning for so long now. Sadly, what I didn’t know was that I was going for an interview to one of the zillion IT consulting firms which come to TTI for placements. Sadly for them, they did not realize that the coders they came looking for had already been placed by now.