I
She sits on a table top, unhindered, undisturbed
she gleams of glory both past and in now
Yet her smile seems rather broken
her demons have made home, in my angel’s heaven
She takes it all in, and makes it glow
She dazzles life’s lemons, and makes Christmas snow
But she keeps away from happiness, and engulfs her own world
Afraid what she may find, if time be allowed so
She doesn’t understand that pain demands to be felt
and I am willing to hold her hand when it does
My own heart grows weary with sorrow
but her presence close by, gives me hope for tomorrow
She complains that she is too reserved, and I come out too
strong
she’s afraid that she’s too volatile, and I remain too
uptight
Obviously I’ve just met her, and cannot fathom the depths of
her soul
And I only wish for her time, to know if we could ever
together grow old
Of course I can’t tell a girl I just met, that I might
hopelessly be in love with her
but what is man if not fragile? How distant are we from altering
our lives?
All it takes is one day, one phone call, one crash, one near
miss
Some might say we are too fickle. I see it as being
beautifully fragile
But she doesn’t care, she sits on her edge, waiting for her
fall
And I only wish to hold her up, for her fall will not be
hers alone
But she refuses sympathy and help, and takes on her demons
herself
But secret in her heart, she wants her knight
But it’s not a white knight she wants, she awaits a dark
knight
Who lets her fight her war, and waits for her return
Holds her in victory and defeat, and nurses her battle scars
Whom she could hold under a starry night, and feel she has
arrived home
She had her home in the past, she saw how it burnt down
She’s been afraid of home ever since
At some point, she stopped believing, and told herself a
different story
That the demons within her defined who she was
I tell her she’s wrong, and who likes to hear that?
And honestly I do not care, because I see her beyond what
she sees in herself
She loved fiercely, lost big, and has lost heart
But she still sings honestly, and I know that all is not
lost
I watch the sun go down every day
It gives me a sense of calm
For fifteen minutes, the world gives me a sanctuary
And I hear the music meant for angels
Eagles soar across the sky
Claiming for themselves what man has merely teased
Such panache is of the winged creatures
Inspiring and frightening at the same time
In silent serene moments like these when I’m saying goodbye
to yet another day
My mind lays in fray and I think of the one who doesn’t
remember me
I know I shouldn’t but I can’t help it
For this is no longer about what I feel for her, but what I
wish to feel
Her thoughts come rushing to me like a river after a storm
Filling and emptying the chasms of my hollow heart
I hope I find her, I hope I have
But can I find my treasure of destiny before it find who I
am?
A storm brews in the heavens
And the Gods have let their will known
And I have become tired of playing the same over and over
again
And now I want to stop playing, and I want to win
I know not the road I am on, I know not where it leads
My mind asks me not to risk all at once,
but if you’re not even taking a chance,
what are you even doing?
I know not if I’ll get to hold her hands some day or not
I know not if I’ll see her eyes twinkle like I know they can
I only know that it is what I want, and what I shall work
towards
And to wait for those moments kills me
For I know if it is to be in the future,
I want the time I need to get to her
Rather than spending them in an abyss of hope and despair
together
I want each passing moment, knowing that I have her by my
side
And I yearn for the precious moments when I have her
attention
and the moments when I have her presence
when the universe allows us to exist together
When I get to hear the melody of her voice
And I have been called crazy and much worse
And I take it all for I know my goal is what most people
struggle to find all their lives
And when I feel I have a shot at it, I shall go after it with
all I have
Because it takes the greatest sacrifice to find my soul
I do care for her beyond rationality, and wish her to have
everything she has ever hoped for
I don’t mind if I’m not a part of her future, I want to know
that she has found hers
And when you find that you don’t stop, even when they call
you crazy, especially then!
For this is not some other disposable thing not worth
fighting for, this is love
And I give you my word to take care of you through all your
storms
for I see the your silver lining in each of them
I have seen you waiting for your rainbow
And I wish to sprinkle some rain
And angels can’t feel the wind on their faces
till they choose to fall
For from this moment and beyond
I shall love you as much as I can as long as I can
And we shall sit together by the ocean
Under the stars watching the moonlit waves
holding you close, and I shall know
That the road was long and weary, but in the end
We made it
Vishal Gupta
14th
May 2018
