Year: 5016
Location: Mexicos
Location: Mexicos
Thousands of years ago, in a time known
popularly as the “Dawn Age”, this land was inhabited by a mysterious race remembered
in history as “Americans”. We do not have historical records for this age. Perhaps
they were destroyed. We do hold rusted metal bars and discus-like objects. At
best guess, they were probably toys. Evidence from history tells us that
Americans were not a scientifically advanced race. However, they were extremely
resourceful when it came to warfare and violence.
This changed with the coming of the Mexicans. Sometime between 4,000-6,000 years ago Mexicans began to go into America attracted by the vast landscape and wealth of resources which were mis-utilized by Americans. Furious with the Mexican Invasion, the Americans began assessing ways on how to keep the Mexicans out of their holy lands. But they lacked the discipline or unity to act upon a plan. In was during this time the idea for the Wall was first conceived. But it was shrugged off immediately. We have deciphered ancient texts which tell us that the idea was widely regarded as “stupid”.
As the Mexicans
grew larger and stronger in the lands of America the natives resisted the
invasions by all forces at hand. However, the Mexicans stayed resilient. They
even married amongst the Americans, thus developing harmony within the nation.
This deeply disturbed the “purer and superior” factions of the American
populace who kept up the resistance. But they were ignored by the Mexicans, and
slowly even from their own kind who now began to welcome us into their lands in
a peaceful manner. With time, the violence decreased. The negotiations remained
only political. There were still those in America who believed that Mexicans
were bad for their land. They called themselves the Grand Old People (GOP). But
that section of the society was denounced as those who feared progress, were xenophobic, and tribal. Thus with time our brethren made home in America.
Stories tell us
that about 3,000 years ago there came a dark period in the history of America
when the GOP raised a hero to reclaim their lands. This was an era of fear and
paranoia in the lands of America. This hero, whom legends call President
Drumpf, created armies of brain-dead zombies called the Whites. They came with
their cold souls from the north, abusing, belittling, and suing anyone who
disagreed with them, were not of their race, or tried to negotiate with them.
At first
President Drumpf seemed like an unlikely hero. But while no one was looking, President
Drumpf gained enough supporters to create a Wall in the kingdom that was once
Texan (now called Torne). President Drumpf pushed the Mexicans back south and
created the massive wall that you see before yourselves. And the
connection between us and our brethren has remained lost since.
Traders who have
sailed north through the NATO Sea to America tell us that today America is a
war-torn nation with strife both within and outside its borders. Torne has
since then tried to move out of the Union but has been stopped by means of
force and political favours including an independent constitution. Yet, America
has not been able to remain as a completely “United State”, with many kings
fighting each other to take control of the Marble Dome – the house of the ruler
of the land. President Drumpf came to be known as “The Last Hero” as he was the
last President of the United State of America. By the end of his reign the land
started to crumble.
President Drumpf
installed his children (both legitimate and otherwise) as future kings but
America. In absence of proper records of history since then the timelines get
blurry. We have tried to list some of the Drumpfs known throughout history.
- Drumpf the First: The Last Hero of America. By the end of his reign the country almost entirely broke down but was left hanging by thin threads. Ironically, he is also known as Drumpf the Builder for his contribution in building the Wall. Double ironically, despite being such a renowned builder, records show that he had terribly tiny hands.
- Trump the Cruel: Son of the Last Hero through his 4th wife (mistress?) He attacked the Church suffering major military losses. He refused to acknowledge his father’s name and took over the older name of his family, “Trump”.
- Trump II: Under him there was a major
civil war between within the family amongst 2 factions of the family – the
Trumps and the Drumpfs. The Drumpfs emerged victorious in this conflict, though
not without suffering major losses.
- Drumpf the Nationbane: America broke
down entirely during his reign. Some say that this was intentional on his part
as he wanted to avenge the country which had done so much harm to his family.
- Trump the Unworthy: An offshoot in the
“Trump” branch of the family. He did not reign but took to drinking and
whoring. Died at 23 at 342 kgs while trying to have sex with a penguin smuggled
from Cuba.
- Trump the Good: Not much is known about
him. It is likely that he is a literary construct by a member of the Trump
family to restore some glory to the family name.
- Trump the Mad: Assassinated by his own bodyguard. When asked why, Jamie Clinton said, “well someone had to end the bullshit!"
