“…its only Words, and Words are all I have, to take your heart away.”
- Boyzone
Dedicated to a beautiful girl who never understood the worth of written words.
Words
Charred and marred by the distances between us,
she says what are words, when she can’t come forth and tough
when she can’t feel my breath against her face
when she can’t hold herself against me,
when she can’t intertwine her fingers with mine
She asks what use are my words, for all they give is a label of words in her inbox
when I come to her, in the form of a new unread e-mail
For days she waits, sometimes weeks, eagerly to read that one name on her screen
She checks, every passing hour, if I had responded to her pleas
to visit her once, to come, to hold her close
No matter what I write, she says words cannot fill the gap
No matter what my words tell her, they can never reach up and wipe her tears
She can’t lean on her computer screen, nor can her phone hold her in bed
all she can do is wait, for that one reply which may or may not come
My words can’t make up for the silence we enjoyed in each other’s company
my words can’t look at the moon with her and make out shapes among the clouds
She writes to me these words, I know her hands shaky
I wish I was there to take them in mine, but alas! I can’t
All I can do, is write back, but what do I write?
There’re no words I have left which she does not yet know
no expression of love which I have not already written
No constraint, which she is not aware of
Yet, knowledge is no substitute for love
And I know she is waiting, eagerly, by her screen, to read my name
which will only make her worse
But words, I will send, and words are what will keep us together
Because words are beautiful, and calm and permanent
I know I might not be by her side
I know, I might never see her again
but I know, wherever she is, my words with her will remain
Words, are like the flowing river
gently passing by the banks
You dip in it, yet the river does not stop
You drench in it, bathe in it, drown in it
But the river moves on
You come out, having taken a bit of the river with you
But the river has lost nothing, and continues to move along
Words, are akin to the wind
which bring messages from a far-away distance
Taking love from my lips to hers
I will not live to see every sunrise, she will not live to cry every sunset
but the love between us will stay alive in the words
Undying, like the wind
it will live till the end of time
I cannot sit by her side when she watches the stars
but my words will tell her that I sat by the bank of a beautiful river thinking of her
Serenely, calmly, the river passed
For hours I might have sat, not noticing the passage of time
looking at the river, thinking of her and me
Wondering, that how insignificant our lives were
like two tiny drops in the infinite river
Yet, those drops were the essence of river, those drops kept the river alive
They might meet and separate with the flow, but they would always have each other’s story
I stooped and touched the river, and it felt like touching her
The river flowed through my hands, yet I could touch it for as long as I wished
My words would tell her about the regal blue bird I saw flying over the river
Carefree, wild, free, one couldn’t imagine the bird shedding tears
Over the river, she flew, spreading her wings
I wished to fly by her, but she had her own flight and I had my own
She had her goals to reach and I had my own
To stay above the river of life, I too had to fly
Sometimes touching, sometimes dripping in, sometimes flying over
Because there was no such thing as her or me
the love was all there was
My words would go to her like her youth
passing by with vigor, which she reads every day
Soon, memorizing and growing tired of the same words
Never settling, always looking for something new
When each day would be short, but the years would feel so long
And slowly, without realizing
those words would become old
carrying wisdom of the ages in them
Something which we would only look back at to smile
Not being read as much, safely secured with her
When the passage of time would slow down, when each day would look so long
Yet, looking ahead the years would look so short
We wouldn’t know where did all that time suddenly pass by
And why is there so less ahead
Like my words, which someday will die down like me
And all that would be there would be memories, which words would preserve
My words would take to her the depths of my love
when I wouldn’t be there to hold her hands on her birthdays
I know she will send me the pictures of her cake
when I wouldn’t give her the special date she deserves for coming to this world
my words would embrace her with my warmth
But my love is not the only thing my words will share
They will take to her the agonies of my failures
and hers would bring the lessons I learnt from them
My words would take to her the silly moments of life
and hers would bring her smile of reading my words
My words would take to her fantasies of my heart
and hers would bring the assurance of them coming true one day
My words would tell her of my successes
and hers would tell me it was the result of my love, failures, craziness and imagination
My words, will keep “us” alive in me
And I will keep writing to her till my heart can beat life in my senses
not because she waits
but because I don’t know how not to
Vishal Gupta
February 21st, 2014
