It’s gonna be me

It’s gonna be me, it’s gonna be free

It’s gonna be all that I’ve wanted to be

It’s gonna be now, it’s gonna be how

It’s gonna be something I desire

You’re gonna be mine, we’re gonna be fine

The love we share is divine

I will be yours, so say no more

I’ll wait for you till life goes on

In life we have, a need for one

we search for our companion

I found you, you didn’t find me

so I shall stay until I breathe

If you ever, look back and see

if you ever feel alone and need me

Just turn around, you will see me

then run to me and hold me closely

I’ll never let you go, I promise you this

let our hearts beat together in heavenly bliss

I wanna kiss your eyes, I wanna hold your hand

I wanna know you are safe and glad

I wish you come soon, I’m tired of being alone

and no one made me feel this way before

And if you wont come, then tell me so

I’ll never cross your path anymore

But know this you, I’ll always love you

I’ll love you in life and from the grave too

I’ll leave my words, in praise of you

I’ll be your smile when I’m not here too

My poems and my songs, will always be with you

just promise you’ll smile when you think of me too

I cannot forget you, now what should I do

the only thing I can do is love you

So my dearie, that’s all I can say

and you be happy is all I want

For your smile keeps me going through the day

it’s only at night when your thoughts haunt

It’s gonna be me, it’s gonna be free

It’s gonna be all that I’ve wanted to be

It’s gonna be now, it’s gonna be how

It’s gonna be something I desire

You’re gonna be mine, we’re gonna be fine

The love we share is divine

I will be yours, so say no more

I’ll wait for you till life goes on

- Vishal Gupta

September 27^th, 2012

The Sound Of Music

-           1          -

It’s been so long since I heard your voice

I fear hearing it again, lest it has changed

It’s been so long since I saw your eyes

I fear I may expect too much from them

I feared to talk, all this while

waiting to seize the perfect opportunity

Now that it has come, you seem so far

I wonder if you’re a figment of my mind or reality

I’ve grown so attached to your memories

I doubt if I’ll ever love you as much as them

Perhaps I have forgotten you

and of only your portrait I’ve dreamt

And I dreamt of meeting you once more

seeing those crystal clear eyes of you have

Once more I’d love to see your unadulterated beauty

which your graceful smile enchants

I wish to tell you more, of what I wish of when I see you

but I won’t, lest you be too embarrassed to face me so

But I promise next time we meet

my eyes will speak all I’ve never held forth

But till then, I see you in my mind’s eye

sometimes laughing, sometimes smiling, sometimes lost in deep thought

Sometimes lending me the happiness your heart pours out

and sometimes just walking by me as in silent stride

As the waves seldom rush by our feet

bringing the smell of your fresh hair to me

Holding hands, we stroll away

towards the sunset watching our way

I lend you a hug, only if you promise to return it

you smile at me, and embrace warmly

I wish I never need to let you leave

and in that moment, I come out of my dream

-           2          -

You told me once, that life is like a camera

and I should always smile, lest someone takes a picture

and keep it to their heart

I wouldn’t want that to frown in that

Little did you know, that as you spoke the words

someone was taking a picture and it was yours

to be kept in their heart forever

for he did not expect you to stay with him for long

Not that I didn’t wish for you to stay

you’d be with me eternally if I had my way

but my way isn’t what you agreed to, and went away

and all I’ve done since that day is pray

 I remember the time when you used to tell me little tales

and I listened intently, with a smile on my face

it wasn’t what you said, it was your voice

for happiness meant to know what I heard was the sound of your words

It was the sound of music, which I heard from you

and no other could be any sweeter

Since you have left, so have all melodies

and even my words aren’t the companions they used to be

I dream again, to hear that sound once again

but I fear it might have changed since the last time I heard it

are my memories of your sound sweeter than it truly is

or is your voice the only melody I have ever missed

Once again, I want the hills to be alive with the sound of music

and once again I want God to open the doors he closed

so the world may listen to the voice he took away

and the world be my world, and our world alone

I just want you to remember a few things

I want you to remember these few words of mine

I may or may not be with you throughout your life

but just remember that once I was by your side

You like to smile even when your eyes are wet

You like to laugh till your eyes become wet

You know people understand you when you speak to them

I know understanding silence is what you like

And you know that beautiful relationships have no name

‘coz when you give names, it limits the ways in which you can love

so you don’t name, and you love everyone

and so I don’t say I love you, I just do

I remember the day when I was sad

and you came to me and spoke these words

if you can smile when you’re completely broken up

nothing can break you the next time

And I promised you that I would smile

and I have done so till now

it was not the words you spoke which brought me back

it was the your smile behind those words

And you told me, never to worry

never to worry about the small things which happen with me

the things that I don’t want to see in my life ever

You showed me the sky, it was mine; you showed me the dews, they were mine

Enjoy the rain you said, enjoy every single moment of life

it’s all mine you said

because even the worst creation of God

has a very special place in someone’s heart

Someone is mad for me you said, (I was mad for you)

to talk to me for some moments, to hold my hands forever

to spend their life with me

‘coz I make them alive just by dropping a single smile

Make life easy by loving people

and not leaving them for some reasons

We fear to fall in love, but we love our family and friends

Then why not love a beautiful person

Who cries for you and forgets everything after every fight

and messages you and calls to talk to you

and hides every pain just to see you happy

just to confirm that you’re alright without them

So live life to its fullest,

and enjoy every moment as it comes

and you said it with a twinkle in your eyes

and I fell deeper for your cute smile

You told me that lonely hours were the best

because only in that time we share our secrets

with someone we trust, that is ourselves

in those hours, all I told myself, was I wish I was near you

Then I remember some words you told me

which I reminded you when you needed them

and you smiled that night, looking into my eyes

and I was thankful to be the reason behind your smile

Life never promised us anything

nor did God, but people did

Some said they would never leave us, lie

some said they’d love us till death, lie

some said we are the most precious one, lie

but life is a melancholy of such sweet lies

All that matters is, how we faced the time

when we finally realised that these were just lies

We might ask, isn’t life better without these lies?

But in truth, the only time we lived on those lies were the time of our lives

And from me to you, these have never been lies

perhaps that’s why I never got the courage to say them to you

Fearing, these might turn to be lies and I might hurt you

but today I know I’m incomplete without you

and I dare to say all I do and I dare to say I say no lies

and living life is worth living if it’s with you, else life itself is a lie

You jested once, and asked me

what would I do if you gave me an hour of your life

I laughed, for I knew I wasn’t lucky enough to get that hour

nor would I be satisfied with just that

But to answer your question, I said I’d want to talk to you

to hear your voice to look into your eyes

to listen to your laughter and to see your smile

All I want, is to be with you, all I don’t have is that one hour

And I smiled, and you asked me to laugh

for I could smile later on but laughter is a joy of youth

yet my real joy lay away from me

and I was left with a smile on my lips and tears in my eyes

For you were my first love, and that shall be unchanged

unfortunately, I was not yours, something I’ll regret

But I’d want to be your last love, as you once said

lucky is the first love of a boy, and luckier is the last love of the girl

I heard your laughter behind your silence divine

I felt your pain in your smile

I wish I could hold your hand, till you were strong again

I wish to never lose you, ever again

You taught me to uncomplicate life

to call when I miss someone

to invite when I want to meet

to explain when I want to be understood

To ask when questions burn me

to say what I don’t like

to state when I like something

to ask when I want

For no one is to know what I think

so better to express than to expect

We get only one life

you taught me to keep it simple

You taught me to party, to make mistakes

laugh endlessly and conquer my fears

I thank you for bringing life in my existence

After all, we’re young only once

You told me I’ve never lived a perfect life

unless I have given something to someone

who will never be in a position to repay me

That, is the purpose of my life now

But you have lived perfectly then

for I shall never be able to repay you

before you, I was one among the crowd

only to gain you, I strived and stood out

Whatever happened, made me proud of being myself

and somehow, I owe it all to you

Dear, you have lived your life perfectly

For I will never be able to give that back to you

-           3          -

When you went, you went with a song

which became the path of my survival

It is that law which I have followed till now

and now find myself too weak to tread the path

You told me that if I go away from you

then never should I return

you will not be able to stop yourself from looking back

so you made me promise never to call you

Even if I saw you along the road

sway my eyes I should, but not meet yours

If I make the mistake of seeing your eloquent eyes

I ask you not to bring tears in yours

You’ve already removed me from your heart

don’t drop me from your eyes too

You once prayed that I may get all happiness

You were my happiness, so why did I not have you

You made me promise, to never be sad again

so you have to teach me how to smile again

You said that I should never miss you again

So even you shouldn’t come to my dreams

you will not be able to stop yourself from looking back

so you made me promise never to call you

- Vishal Gupta

October 28^th, 2012

2012

जो तुम न थी तो ज़िंदगी ज़िंदगी न थी

जो तुम्हारे पास आने की कोशिश की तो तुम तुम न थी

जो तुमसे दूर जाने की भी मैने कोशिश की

तो जो बची वो कहानी कहानी मेरी न थी

तुमसे दूर रहने का वादा कर

तुम्हारी यादों को खुदसे अलग करने का इरादा कर

कुछ कदम मैने आगे जो लिए

रास्ता तो मिला पर सामने कोई मंज़िल न थी

क्या प्यार को इतना भी मुश्किल बना देना सही है

कि तुम्हारी एक तस्वीर भी खुदसे अलग कर देनी पड़े

क्या तुम्हारी खुशी इतनी ज़रूरी है

की मेरी आवाज़ कभी तुम तक न पहुँच सके

वादा देने में मैं देर नही करता

ख़ासकर अगर वादा तुमसे करना हो

पर अपनी कमज़ोरियाँ भी पहचानता हूँ

इसलिए वो न दे सका जिसके तुम हक़दार हो

नही कह सका तुमसे, की फिर कभी तुम्हारे सामने नही आऊंगा

कभी भूले पन्नो पर, तुम्हे अपने शब्द नही दिखाऊंगा

इसीलिए कहा था तुमसे, की तुम ही खुदको मुझसे अलग कर दो

तुम ये शायद कर भी दो, पर मैं तुमसे प्यार न करना नही सीख पाऊँगा

बरसो से जो बात दिल में बसा रखी थी

जो कहानियाँ होठों में दबा रखी थी

बस एक बार तुमसे कहनी थी

लो कह दी, अब शायद सुकून से मर भी पाऊँगा

हाँ, ये सच हैं मैं खामोश तो नही था

कोई था जिसे ये कहानियाँ सुना रखी थी

या कभी दिल भरके शब्दों में,

इन कहानियों पे कवितायें भी बुना रखी थी

पर कभी सोचा न था, तुम इनका बुरा मान जाओगी

कभी चाहा न था, कि कभी ये तुम्हारे रास्ते में आयेंगी

इस भूल कि, मैने माफी भी माँगी थी उससे,

पर उसे प्यार थोड़े ही था, वो माफी देना सीख नही पाई थी

उसने ही सिखाया था, कि दिल की बातें छुपा के नही रखते

ज़िंदगी से कुछ चाहिए, तो माँगते नही हटते

मैने तो कुछ माँगा भी नही, पर फिर भी लगा वो कुछ दे न पाई

उस "कुछ" की कमी आज भी है, वो अब तक न भर पाई

एक खलिश तो है, पर साँसें नही रुकती

ये रेगिस्तान से इंतज़ार सीखती हैं

कुछ कदम आगे जो लेती हैं,

रास्ता मिलता है, पर सामने मंज़िल नही दिखती

विशाल गुप्ता

नवंबर 15, 2012