02 March, 2018


The first time I saw your name on the screen
you seemed like just another person
to talk to, to get to know, perhaps make a friend in my lonely world
For make no mistake friends I have many, but few I’m able to care for
You, are not my love at first sight, neither are you my damsel in distress
You are simply the girl who smiled, when I came forth and said “hi”

I know it’s too early to say that I feel for you
too early to act on instincts dwelling in me whenever I see you
My heart might be weak for a face which makes me smile
but life has taught me enough lessons to not pry
Yes, I know what I have might be simple infatuation
but I also know that it just might be God finally sending my angel

Too early, to tell you that I’ve identified someone innocent and caring in you
too early to say, your confidence and pride makes me fall more each time I see you
Too early to ask, about the storm I see veiled behind your calm
too little to say, that you can always confide in this friend you have found

But I do want to learn more about you
I do want to know, what makes you laugh and what makes you cry
I wish to understand the struggles you’ve been through and the lives you’ve made
I wish to know, about the sadness masked behind your smile

Pray! I do not want to know your entire past
We’ve all made mistakes, done bad things,
But never has it meant that we are bad people
I care not for every little detail from your past, only the ones which you wish to say
I care about the demons which keep you awake at night
and hope someday, I’ll be able to help you face them
I care about the little pleasures which make you smile
and someday wish to be the one who serves them to you
Just to see that unfaltering smile which each day, makes me fall for you

I know you have your own baggage which someday you’ll tell me about
you know I have my own, I know not if you’d like to hear about
But we both know the thing about baggage
They’re easier to life with two hands around

Mind you! This feeling was never a part of my plans
You, happen to be the best thing to have happened to me in years
You were never meant to be, not now, not like this
but I never realized when you became the reason I check my screen every few hours
You became the first thought in my head when I wake up
and the reason why I could not sleep
I know, I have no right to ask you for anything
For truth be told, I barely know you beyond your voice, your eyes and your smile
And all I know is that in this moment, I want to be the reason for that smile
All I want, is an hour of your time
All I want, is for your eyes to be infront of mine

I know we have initiated a story
I knew it the first time you defeated me in a friendly game
you knew it the first time my eyes failed to hide
I know not where this story is headed
I know not if some day we’ll wake up together to look behind on the past we created
or would I make you smile telling you that I had such idiotic thoughts at some point
What I do know is, I have earned a friend and though still young
this friendship is here to stay
People often ask me, what makes one so desperate
but it’s not so difficult to become desperate
All it takes is a caring girl like you and a lonesome heart like mine
and that, my friend, is what is called being desperate

Vishal Gupta