A Hospital. The best one for
parturition in Kolkata. I stand by at the stairs waiting. A doctor emerges. He
looks at one of the expecting fathers.
‘Mubarak ho!
ladka hua hai.’
I didn’t notice the fact that he never justified why
the birth of the son was an occasion for congratulations – until my niece was
born.
‘Lakshmi aayi
hai! ladki hui hai.’
It was then I noticed. No Mubarak this time. Infact, the common language used at childbirth
needed to justify the happiness on the birth of a girl – only at the birth of a
girl. I might have ignored this had it not been for the frowning grandmother.
RMS Titanic. A constant echo of “women and children first” resonates in
my ears. Is this maritime law? No. Then is this a cry to help the most
vulnerable to leave the scene first? Or is this simple male chivalry? Who
branded women as a vulnerable section of the society in the first place?
Property
Settlement in Divorce. In India, once the divorce is granted, a
woman can move an application to get share in her ex-husband’s immovable
residential property as a part of the settlement. It sends a message that if
you remove the husband from the life of a woman, she is left with no means of
survival. There’s no reverse provision in law, empowering the husband for the
same. I ponder, should such discrimination be imbedded in law? What impact
would it have on the society?
The Sexual
Harassment of Women at Workplace Act, 2013. “An act to provide protection against sexual
harassment of WOMEN at workplace and for the prevention and redressal of
complaints of sexual harassment and for matters connected therewith or
incidental thereto.”
Footwear. Across civilizations,
women’s footwear was never intended for speed or efficiency. That trait was
reserved for men. Women were (and still are) required to strain their
ankles for a better posture, which translated into a better looking posterior.
Where did society make such a distinction in the needs of men and women?
What are
women? When
born, they were humans. But echoes made them what they are. Implicit echoes,
like “you’re just a birth machine.” Explicit echoes, like “girls don’t play
cricket, they play with dolls,” “you are old now, do not wear shorts,” “don’t
go to late night parties,” “learn to cook,” “no need to study so much,” “learn
to suppress your needs,” “wear decent clothes,” “don’t hang out with boys,”
“close your legs…”
It’s not that every boy ever born has teased a girl.
But every living breathing girl has been teased by a boy. Try to think about
that for a moment. Somehow, women have always been the one with whom the
concept of virginity has been associated.
In a marriage, Indian law recognizes the refusal of
sex by a woman as domestic violence. However, there’s no concept of marital
rape in the law.
Consider a
jungle. The
lions rule as kings, protecting their territory for themselves. The territories
are always marked, lest another might chance upon it. The lions however are
never marked. There are also tigresses – deemed as queens only in title not in
power. The aims of these two groups are entirely irreconcilable. The aim of the
lion is to remain where they are. The aim of the tigresses is to abolish all
distinctions and create a society in which all shall be equal. Yet, this is a
latent aim for it is an abiding characteristic of the tigresses that they are
too much crushed by self-pity to be more than intermittently conscious of
anything outside their daily lives.
The tigresses never revolted of their own accord,
and they never revolted simply because they were oppressed. Indeed, as long as
they were not permitted to have rights, they never even became aware that they
were oppressed.
Some tigresses started seeing differently – and
demanded equality. As if equality was
the lions’ to give in the first place! Frankly, had it been the lions’ to
impart, why would they? Equality was nothing tangible which the tigresses could
take home. It was a mindset. A mindset induced by centuries of social
practices, cultural beliefs, hospitals, quotations, laws and attires. It was
not something the tigresses could demand or even snatch. The more tigresses
demanded it, the more the lions’ believed that it was theirs to give. As the
tigresses’ demand congealed, so did the lions’ power. Some tigresses saw this
through and felt sick of their own kind. They started on their own accord, not
uniting and demanding, but by living
lives equal to that of the tigers. Such tigresses never fought for equality
between the two species. Their actions simply said that they hunted as well,
and were tigresses. There was a graceless beauty to them. While the others made
noise which lions heard, these made noise which the lions felt firsthand.
So what does
all this mean?
How does it translate to the life of an ordinary woman who wishes to live her
life with dignity? What does this mean for a simple girl who wishes to feel
safe after sunset in the capital of the country? And why the hell am I writing
this article? This article is in response to a petition I came across demanding
DEATH for RAPE. The argument given, and I quote, is
“If they are still alive after trampling over my life
then this is the rape of the country and every woman.”
And I beg to differ.
For too long
have we treated women like commodities and sex objects. This thought remains in our
actions, celebrations, laws, literature, and most importantly – minds. I do not
believe that raping a woman is trampling over her life. This petition puts
another stone in the wall which says, “if
a woman’s dignity is breached sexually, there is no value left to her life.”
This is confirmed by the society we live in, which
makes life hell for the rape-victim to such an extent, that she’s asked not to
even make a legal case, lest there be problems in her wedding thereafter. No
one must know that her sexuality has been breached. She must suffer in silence,
while the criminal, more confident with every new achievement, prowls for new preys.
Capital Punishment takes from a man his right to
live. Punishment must suit the crime. The criminal here has not made the
woman’s life valueless – it is a mindset which the society continues to persist
with. The criminal has violated a woman’s privacy and dignity by forcing his
genitals upon hers. The only appropriate punishment is Chemical Castration.
Castration. Where the man can feel what it means to
have one’s privacy, dignity and pride violated. It’s not the lack of conscience
which causes rapes. It’s the lack of consequences. Some fool may even justify
having one pleasurable day before being tossed away in a cell to spend the rest
of his miserable years where he’ll be taken care of at the taxpayer’s expense.
If we want women to feel safe on the road, the punishment must match the crime.
Her dignity has to be valued as much as a man’s. And the society has to realize
that there’s more value to a woman’s life than her private parts.
-