Reaching the Judgment Day,
I knew it was time to answer
the Lord stood before me
glancing
decided she was, but chose to
play
She welcomed me to doors white
high
and stood smiling without a
word
I believed she wanted me to
speak
but my reflection was not yet
done
‘You think about your life,’ she
said
‘All your life you’ve thought
leave the comfort of
reminiscence
even in death you cannot.’
I stood there, aghast
she knew what I thought
But she was the omniscient
foolish of me to consider she
could not
‘You lived a good life
yet remained dissatisfied
you planned and planned and
thought of your tomorrow
you thought of the past which
gave you sorrow
Seven billion other mortals
and hundred years as your time
So short to live, so long to waste
yet you don’t understand my
design
Your life was too short,
not long was it meant to be
but in your time yourself
you took so seriously
Life is too short,
to take yourself so seriously
Your life and thoughts,
are nothing to the further
eternity
Your life was meant, to
cherish the time you had
to spread love and care and
affection and warmth
to dance in the rain and learn
in the shade
to appreciate what beauty and
wonder I had made
Instead you engrossed
in complex worry and fear
while I made you so simple
why did you become so real?
You needn’t go for riches and
fame
no one cared from which hand
you ate
no one remembered, what you
called your “embarrassing moments”
who would remember, who you
were or what you became?
Your life had none of these aims
yet to petite acceptance you
gave yourself away
You were my masterpiece, away
from the jungle laws
but your own laws you created,
and in your laws you got caught’
I looked at her, feeling
subdued
a little tear from my eye now
poured
indeed I wasted my thoughts,
all my life
I could be so much, but only
if before I’d realised…
‘You spent too much precious
time
Gloating over your past
and even more time
planning what would eventually
come
Your time both past and future
were what you lived in
Were you not aware that past
does not return
and the future, will
invariably come?
Time works mysteriously
you don’t know what it holds
Yesterday, you planned for the
days to come
today, to stand before me,
looking at your life undone
You needn’t have worried about
your future
it would, inevitably come
You missed my biggest gift; I
gave you time
you just forgot your present
life’
I stood there, now filled with
regret
If only, I’d known this then
but now she was speaking and I
was dead
I asked her why didn’t this before
she had said
‘What mean that this before I
hadn’t said
I said all this when you were
a child
you used to listen to me then
but slowly with time adulthood
came
As your playthings became
bigger
you drowned my song by the
noise
sometimes I would shout out
and it would pain you
so you drowned me more with
hatred and poise
You didn’t hate me,
it was yourself you loathed
For you knew I was right
but you didn’t have the
strength to accept it
Throughout your life, I called
you out
every day, I reminded you
didn’t I?
I was the dying voice of your
inner self
That’s where I reside, and
that’s where I died
You didn’t die alone when you
lay
you killed me with your self
with your failure in life, I
died too
I stand here in sorrow, and
not to play with you
I talked with you within you
but you never cared to listen
Too comfortable in your life
you were
everytime I screamed, I was
ignored
The inner voice you fail to
hear
yet you choose every sound in
the world
Is it my fault that even when
I’m there with you
you choose to live completely
alone?’
I knew now where she was
I collapsed on the clouds
below
Her anger was just, but not
complete
She went on with her discourse
‘In life you never heard me
that’s why I speak to you now
for in death you realize
your life was incomplete and
shallow
I was always with you
yet you dreaded walking alone
You accepted the dead customs
of society
to be accepted by whom you
dislike
You chose the roads of your
peers
and reached the destinations
they couldn’t
But it was not your path to
begin with
So how could you have their
end?
I wrote your destiny
different,
but you chose to be one among
the herd
I wished for your greatness
but you wished to be mingled
in the crowd
Too afraid you were, to walk
the path you thought right
too frightened to claim, what
was your right
Now you seek answers, useless
for your dead being
you could have found them, had
you walked your line
Lonesome journey it would have
been
but you’d have been closer to
me
Close to me, like you are now
but you delayed, and chose
misery
You could’ve walked a glorious
path
and live a life satisfied
but you chose to forbid the
path alone
and now before me you cry.’
Every word she spoke was true,
but it killed what of me was
alive
I knew she wouldn’t stop and I
needed her to go on
for this was my penance and my
remorse
‘You knew every word I speak
is right
you knew this in death and in
life
you chose to hide your self
from yourself
dishonest you were with your
time
Your mortality was challenged
all the time
yet you chose to remain in
debt
Indebted you died from the few
who cared
and never will they know what
you held inside
You knew this day would come
I told you this every day
But you lived like you had an
eternity to live
and the same ignorant fool you
have died
You were loved by many
more than most people have in
their time
You had a caring mother and a
loving wife
never will they know the story
from your side
Never now will they hear,
that you loved them so
Mourn for you they will
but less than what you deserve
Your legacy could have been
great
had only you spread love
had only you told them once
their life meant more to you
than yours
But never had you found time
never moments to express your
love
never you thought you couldn’t
say this to them again
You died dissatisfied,
they were left ignorant
you weep here for they are
alive
and they mourn for you have
died
You could’ve died earlier
when a drunk truck had passed
you by
or the ground would have
shaken
or the sky showed aggression
The ship you mounted on 2 years
ago
had a bore no one knew
I help the craft for you to
live
hoping you’d make use of your
time
Alas! You chose to ignore
every day
as your celebration of life
your dues kept on piling
and now in debt you have died
Preparing for your death
was the motive of life
for life was nothing but a
journey
before the adventure of death
arrived
You took live to be everything
and now before me you cry
you neither paid your dues nor
realised
your mortality was challenged
all the time.’
Vishal Gupta
April 11th, 2012
IIT Kharagpur
